Journal / Thought Catalog, Pre-Course

Thoughts

[[Sorry if these do not make sense to a reader]]

During yesterday's photography meet, I was trying to identify what I think I can describe as - where the mundane came from. 

1) Concerns that arose from not knowing the group members well and petty concerns about misreadings of one another

2) Disappointment with the"diluted" opportunity for enjoying the area, partly because it was my first time there, like a derivative much less integrous

3) Not "fitting in", in general into the landscape

The feeling of something being mundane came from the stark difference between what the poetic quality of my interpretations of my surroundings urged, and the "reality" of how limited I was in bringing that to life. 

I remember spending a short while just iterating in my mind people I knew whose habits of speech, demeanor, etc. could illicit the congruence needed to evoke something in and around themselves. 

In the actual photography, I was still scrambling a bit to adjust to my new equipment. What I decided I captured was much more a subset of the accidental than what I saw at the time. 

Coming away, some of the same "fixes" did present themselves to me, get more fit or get more friends, etc., but I could safely dismiss them. What I do know is that the jewel of experience that I seek still feels deeper in the jungle. Behind today's mirage. I know from experience that I can get closer, but I suspect that has an awful lot more to do with:

1) The lifestyle I can equip myself with, allowing me more time and resources - which would have to be forged not just with that end in mind, but - 

2) Sinking further and with more fervor into a more nourished and inspired identity

Writing I found about walking:

https://www.outsideonline.com/2414207/walking-popularity-comeback-coronavirus

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